Coming at you LIVE from Channel EV Studios...

[these_balls]

It's here, it's here, everybody give a cheer! It's time for yet another round of...

▶ ▷ ▶ GYM NEWS Θ A BLAST FROM CELADON! EXHIBITION MATCHES EXPLODE ONTO THE SCENE! • Looking for a spectacular showcase, trainers? Then look no further than Celadon City, where our ace reporters have been making headway at covering the latest training sensation, the Celadon City Training Center! Earlier this week, the Training Center launched its first set of monthly Exhibition Battles, featuring a wide variety of fierce and fearsome battlers! We went to Leader ERIKA for her thoughts on how these instructive matches might change the future of gym battles, both in Celadon and across the nation! "Oh, I think it's a splendid idea," Leader ERIKA enthused. "It's the heart's desire of every Gym Leader to see Trainers bringing out the best in their Pokemon, and in themselves, too! Having that kind of guidance toward training is a big asset to people wanting to improve! Sometimes that's how we learn best, even — from helping each other!" Θ MORTY IN HIGH SPIRITS: WHAT A CHARMING GHOST HOST! • SPOTTED: Gym Leader MORTY taking a walk through the streets of Ecruteak City, sharing a sentimental moment with his GENGAR! Though he initially gave our ace reporter the slip, we eventually managed to catch up and get the scoop on his morning constitutional! "What? Well, sure, walking with my GENGAR helps me unwind after a graveyard shift," Leader MORTY explained. "Are you guys really that desperate for news? Hey, here's a good one for you — what does a HAUNTER like to eat for breakfast? Ghost toast with boo-berry jam. And you might want to be careful, my GENGAR just tied your shoelaces togeth—" Regrettably, our interview with Leader MORTY came to a crashing halt shortly thereafter!

▶ ▷ ▶ CRIME NEWS Θ BURNED! POLICE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR RENEGADE FIREBUG! • Officer Jenny and the Kangaskhan Police are currently on the lookout for a particularly malicious fiend who recently lit the National Park on fire! Though only a small percentage of the park was destroyed by the flames, the police are still 100% committed to bringing the culprit to justice! Having recently concluded the investigation into the crime, Officer Jenny had this to report: "At this time we are confident in our belief that the trainer and Pokemon responsible for this travesty are Himekawa Blue Christia and her Togepi, Hijiri. We are therefore issuing an alert to all police divisions to be on the lookout for this culprit." When asked what the penalty might be for such a transgression, Officer Jenny confirmed that the standard punishment of one week community service would apply! Θ HIGH STAKES! DON'T BET ON BLACK AND BLUE! • The Goldenrod and Celadon divisions of the Kangaskhan Police Force would like to remind all trainers to please gamble responsibly! There have been increasing reports of violence in and around the Game Corners in both cities recently. As these are private businesses with their own in-house security, trainers should be advised that unless there is an extreme situation such as a robbery, the police won't be interfering! Please direct all such reports to the friendly security guards. They can be recognized by their large build, black suits, popped collars and sunglasses! Remember, gamble responsibly!

▶ ▷ ▶ WEATHER Θ WARMING UP TO THE WEATHER! • Your Channel EV Pokemon Weather Station — the first stop to weather the weather whatever the weather! — is officially confirming that spring temperatures are here and here to stay! We're predicting highs in the mid-sixties for the next few weeks, with a few days even spiking up as high as seventy or so! But don't put away those blankets just yet, trainers; there'll still be some chilly nights ahead, too! Θ A NOTE FROM MOM! • Ghost-Types aren't the only ones who can enjoy boo-berry treats! For trainers looking for something sweet to scare away the moody blues, why not try Mom's Best Baked Blueberry Custard? Just mix one part butter, three parts milk, two parts sugar, and one part cornstarch together in a big bowl! Add a dash of vanilla and blend until silky-smooth. Then, fill a pan with fresh blueberries and pour the whole mixture over the top! Pop it in the oven and bake until the middle is set and slightly browned. Yum, yum, what a great and tasty snack for anybody with a spoon to join in!

▶ ▷ ▶ SWARM NEWS Θ GOBBLIN' GOBLINS! • Careful, trainers! Following a series of eyewitness reports, Pokemon Professors have recently confirmed a small swarm of rogue SHUPPET roaming the night! This small cluster of Ghost-Types has been spotted in various areas in and around Goldenrod City, and any trainers in the area are advised to keep a close eye out! "SHUPPET aren't normally found in Goldenrod City," Professor OAK explained, "but they're drawn to negative emotions like grudges and envy. Fortunately, they hide in their nests during the day, so everyday citizens can carry on as usual during the daylight hours. Just be careful at night until we can get them to move on!" Θ AND GULPIN' GULPINS! • Pokemon Professors are also projecting a brief rise in GULPIN populations in the coming weeks, with migrations all along Route 15 and extending even to the outskirts of Fuchsia City! Watch your step, trainers, because these little gulpers have a bite much bigger than their bark! "Most of a GULPIN's body is made up of its stomach!" Professor OAK elaborated. "Its heart and brain are actually very small in comparison. But it's the stomach that's really fascinating — it contains special enzymes that can digest anything, even scrap iron!"

▶ ▷ ▶ MISC. NEWS Θ BY THE BOOK! • Hey, there, newbie trainers! There's a new sensation sweeping the nation, and it's here to help you on your journey to be number one! If you're feeling a little down and out while on the routes, check out the Beginner's Manual to Johto for some hot tips to get you through! We picked up a copy ourselves when it first hit the airwaves, and our staff is already giving it four paws up! Θ WARNING: HEALTH ADVISORY STILL IN EFFECT! • It's PokeFlu season, and Nurse Joy is reminding all trainers to practice safe and healthy habits during this time of heightened risk! While NOT contagious to trainers, PokeFlu can make your little ones very sick, so listen up! PokeFlu is transmitted by coming into contact with respiratory droplets containing the virus, either by breathing them directly or by touching a contaminated surface. Therefore, Nurse Joy is advising all trainers to observe basic health practices when caring for their Pokemon this PokeFlu season: keep healthy Pokemon away from sick ones, wash with soap and hot water frequently, and get plenty of sleep and nutrients to keep those immune systems strong! One recent case of PokeFlu was spotted in none other than AMPHY, the AMPHAROS most famously known for lighting the Glitter Lighthouse in Olivine City! We here at EV News are sending all the best wishes out to her, and to Leader JASMINE in this time of trouble!

Codes borrowed and modified from pastries here!



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Comments

QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, FEEDBACK, ETC.

[these_balls]

[alonelyworld]

Pretty sure I should put this here.

Ushio's going to contact the police about the fire incident after seeing this. She was a witness and is going to try and explain that it was an accident.

[fervour]

Ushio ;A;...!

[fervour]

Christia turns herself into the police at Lavender earlier in the week or last week and works the one week o/