Once Again, We're LIVE from Channel EV Studios...

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That's right, Routers! Please proceed to the edge of your seats; it's time for another exciting round of...

▶ ▷ ▶ GYM NEWS Θ ALIGHT WITH JOY: BUGSY PROCLAIMS BLACKOUT A SUCCESS! • Following the success of the recent Voluntary Blackout, Gym Leader BUGSY has been frequently seen strolling happily throughout town accompanied by his new VOLBEAT and ILLUMISE. Our ace reporter on the scene stopped them outside of his gym today to see what he thought of the success! "I can't believe how generous the people of Johto are!" Leader BUGSY enthused. "The number of eggs produced have been unprecedented in our test groups alone! Once the mating season has settled down, I'm going to make sure to keep my Bug Pokémon Sanctuary attractive to these lovely FIREFLY POKÉMON so I can continue to study their numbers!" Sources indicate Leader BUGSY was so pleased, he even danced a few steps of the Jitterbug right there on the spot! What a very happy boy! Θ THORNY REMARKS FROM BLACKTHORN GYM! • In response to our recent news coverage of the ongoing secret romance suspected between Leader BROCK of Pewter City and Leader JASMINE of Olivine City, a new source has arisen! This anonymous source, armed with plenty of juicy information, spoke out as follows: "—nymous? I don't want to be anonymous! Hey! This is CLAIR, the world's best Dragon-type master, and I don't know what kind of rubbish sources you people are relying on, but you've got it all wrong. I mean, BROCK, with a crush on JASMINE? Please. Oh, that's right, I know plenty of sordid details about the other Gym Leaders, but does anyone ever come and talk to magnificent me? No! Why, I'm personally offended you—" ...Ah...regrettably, the anonymous source was unavailable for further comment! Heh-heh...

▶ ▷ ▶ CRIME NEWS Θ PSA: PROTECT AND PRESERVE! • Officer Jenny and the Kangaskhan Police are once again reminding trainers to exercise full caution when engaged in battle or faced with a rogue Pokemon! Reportedly, unscrupulous individuals have been using their Pokemon to attack humans as well as their teams, risking serious harm to their fellow trainers! To help guard against this possibility, it is highly recommended that trainers invest in TM17 - Protect, available from any Department store for P6500. Remember, any Pokemon that can learn moves by TM can learn Protect! The limited-time discount on TM17 - Protect for trainers and breeders showing adequate credentials upon purchase has now ended. Sorry for the inconvenience! Θ OFFICER JENNY SAYS: STOP JAYWALKING! • After multiple close calls of trainers nearly endangering themselves by crossing the street outside of a crosswalk, Officer JENNY of Vermillon City has issued this announcement: "Always make sure to cross in a crosswalk! Pedestrians may have the right of way, but that's no excuse for ignoring basic safety rules! You never know who might be coming down that street or if they'll be prepared to stop in time if you don't cross at one of the designated safe intersections! If this continues to become a problem, we're going to prosecute violators to the fullest extent of the law!" Though Officer JENNY did not specify what constituted the "fullest extent of the law", we at EV News still recommend all trainers do their best to keep the police force happy!

▶ ▷ ▶ WEATHER Θ SPRING FORWARD! • Your Channel EV Pokemon Weather Station — the first stop to weather the weather whatever the weather! — is proud to announce that spring has sprung! Temperatures continue to hold steady above freezing, and we're predicting plenty of blue skies and sun with the occasional patch of clouds! What a breath of fresh air for anyone growing tired of the cold! Θ A NOTE FROM MOM! • Did everyone have a good Starter Appreciation Day? Remember, while Berries might be a yummy treat for your favorite Pokemon, they're not so good for you! If you're in the mood for something sweet and fruity, try Mom's Favorite Strawberry Poppers! They're a great snack for on the go, and super healthy, too! Just wash and hull fresh strawberries, hollowing them out while leaving the fruit intact! Then, mix vanilla yogurt with chocolate shavings, chopped almonds, and a dash of orange zest! Put the mixture into a plastic baggie and cut off the tip of one corner to make a piping bag! Use the bag to pipe the mixture neat and clean into the strawberries, and put them into the fridge to chill. What a neat, no-mess anytime snack that's fun and easy to eat!

▶ ▷ ▶ SWARM NEWS Θ MAKE ROOM FOR SHROOMISH! • With spring temperatures fast on the way, Pokemon Professors are predicting heightened SHROOMISH activity in and around the Viridian Forest, with migration expected to extend as far as Route 2 and even the outskirts of Viridian City! Professor OAK commented, "SHROOMISH are mild and unassuming creatures, but watch out! If a SHROOMISH becomes startled or afraid, it will release poison spores from the top of its head to protect itself! It's quite the painful experience for any unfortunate trainer who happens to breathe them in!" Θ WYNAUT? WHY NOT! • Also, the Professors are anticipating the rare appearance of WYNAUT in the weeks to come! WYNAUT, though not commonly found in the wild, are the pre-evolved form of WOBBUFFET, and are expected to appear for a short time within the Dark Cave! But keep your eyes peeled, trainers! A few stray WYNAUT may even venture out as far as Routes 30 and 31! And remember this tip from Professor OAK: "WYNAUT always have a happy smile on their face, even when they're angry or upset, so don't let that big grin fool you! To tell a WYNAUT's real mood, you should look at its tail — a WYNAUT will slap the ground with its tail when it's angry!"

▶ ▷ ▶ MISC. NEWS Θ NO STRINGS ATTACHED! • Hey, music lovers! Tired of tuning in to the radio stations to pump up the jam? Itching for a more firsthand listening experience? Need a classy place to take a hot date with refined tastes? Then look no further than the Saffron City Concert Hall! Here, some of the finest instrumentalists from all over Johto and Kanto come together to make beautiful music together, with frequent and varied performances that are sure to please a world of tastes! Of course, if you're too far afield to make it down to hear the sound of music in person, you can always tune in to the live broadcast of the performance over the Gear radio, but why settle for anything less than the full concert experience? We hope to see you down there soon! Tickets are available for purchase up to one week in advance of any scheduled performance or at the door for a slightly increased rate. No rainchecks, substitutions, or exchanges will be honored. Θ WARNING: HEALTH ADVISORY! • It's PokeFlu season, and Nurse Joy is reminding all trainers to practice safe and healthy habits during this time of heightened risk! While NOT contagious to trainers, PokeFlu can make your little ones very sick, so listen up! PokeFlu is transmitted by coming into contact with respiratory droplets containing the virus, either by breathing them directly or by touching a contaminated surface. Therefore, Nurse Joy is advising all trainers to observe basic health practices when caring for their Pokemon this PokeFlu season: keep healthy Pokemon away from sick ones, wash with soap and hot water frequently, and get plenty of sleep and nutrients to keep those immune systems strong!

Codes borrowed and modified from pastries here!



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